So, those were my 20s.

Tomorrow is my thirtieth birthday.

That is absolutely ridiculous. There is no way I should be thirty. Thirty implies so much, and I’m just a slightly more capable version of my teenage self. Maybe your twenties are more of a state of mind?

I don’t think anyone likes having regrets, and I certainly never wanted any. Are there things I’d do differently since I graduated high school? Oh yeah. But I think that most of it, I’d try to keep the same. I’m about to graduate from a degree I enjoyed 90% of. I’ve made some wonderful friends (oh boy, was I due!) I’m still a mental health disaster, but that can be worked on.

I hate the way I stress over my birthday – over incomplete goals, or the idea that something is less than perfect, when a birthday shouldn’t be stressful. I suppose I stress over everything though – anything that can be considered a ‘deadline’, and I freak out.

So how did I spend the last day of my twenties? Cleaning my apartment  :yum: It’s a mental thing, having a perfectly tidy and clean apartment on my birthday. The gift I give myself. I have no idea how I managed to wrangle it, but it took 6 hours, and it’s so tidy!

Tomorrow, I’m spending the day with my sister – mini-golf and then to the movies to finally see the new Thor film. Oh, and I’m dragging her to see ‘Christmas land’ in both Myer and David Jones, because I love Christmas decorating.

It’s going to be a good day. And whilst my twenties weren’t the laugh-riot I hoped for, or anything resembling anyone elses’, they were mine, and that thought is actually kind of comforting.

“Just like the gypsy woman said!”

So that was 28. Tomorrow I’m 29. And I feel all of twelve. Maybe thirteen.

That’s probably why so many people have crises about their age: they never feel what they really are. I’ve managed to elude conventional adulthood for so long, and now I feel the time to girl-up and be a grown-up is upon me.

No wonder I need a medication adjustment  :lol:

So here’s to 29. May you bring good things.

NaBloPoMo: Good Bye 24

Today was my last day as a twenty-four year old.

That is crazy. I feel exactly the same as I did at twenty-two. God, twenty-five. I feel old and like I’m running out of time but I’m only twenty-five. Is this how everyone feels? That they turn around one day and BAM, feel like time has just evaporated? That all those mundane things you do every single day add up to years and  years?

That’s about as philosophical as I get. Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between feelings and thoughts that are totally normal and feelings and thoughts that are because of my anxiety. Mostly it’s just plain noisy in my head.

I was actually very productive for my last day as twenty-four year old. Perhaps I’ve finally evolved to be fastidious and neat? A shame I still seem to be a complete paper hoarder. Seriously, I refuse to throw out even the tiniest or oldest drawing. But a massive spring clean was in order for the day – one enormous bag of garbage, and everything has been dusted, organised. It’s… actually kind of creepy.

I also got another 2,000 words of my Nanowrimo done. I’m hoping to get at least another 1,000 words done tonight. Other than that, I’ve got an episode of Criminal Minds and some art to upload to Deviantart. I’m hardcore, aren’t I?

I feel like I should write something deep, to remember twenty-four when I’m reading this blog in years to come. Twenty four: the year before you went to Sydney. After being sick for four months and two hospital visits, you’re okay with no real reason. Er, it might be because your father lived at home all year. Mia finished uni. You lost Dominic and Molly. Mia got Mabel. You love, love, loved The Legend of Korra. Your art sucked less this year than ever before. You started your giant directory of future book ideas. You read a lot of books – good ones, bad ones and offensive ones. You start cooking lessons. You loved Marissa Meyer’s Cinder, Kendare Blake’s Anna Dressed in Blood and Girl from Nightmares, Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke and Bone, and you finally finished Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events.

 So long, twenty-four. I liked you okay and I’m sorry you have to go. You taught me stuff that’s useful but some things happened that… well, sucked. Put a good word in for me with twenty-five, okay?

NanoWrimo Word Count: 12,077/50,000