So, those were my 20s.

Tomorrow is my thirtieth birthday.

That is absolutely ridiculous. There is no way I should be thirty. Thirty implies so much, and I’m just a slightly more capable version of my teenage self. Maybe your twenties are more of a state of mind?

I don’t think anyone likes having regrets, and I certainly never wanted any. Are there things I’d do differently since I graduated high school? Oh yeah. But I think that most of it, I’d try to keep the same. I’m about to graduate from a degree I enjoyed 90% of. I’ve made some wonderful friends (oh boy, was I due!) I’m still a mental health disaster, but that can be worked on.

I hate the way I stress over my birthday – over incomplete goals, or the idea that something is less than perfect, when a birthday shouldn’t be stressful. I suppose I stress over everything though – anything that can be considered a ‘deadline’, and I freak out.

So how did I spend the last day of my twenties? Cleaning my apartment  :yum: It’s a mental thing, having a perfectly tidy and clean apartment on my birthday. The gift I give myself. I have no idea how I managed to wrangle it, but it took 6 hours, and it’s so tidy!

Tomorrow, I’m spending the day with my sister – mini-golf and then to the movies to finally see the new Thor film. Oh, and I’m dragging her to see ‘Christmas land’ in both Myer and David Jones, because I love Christmas decorating.

It’s going to be a good day. And whilst my twenties weren’t the laugh-riot I hoped for, or anything resembling anyone elses’, they were mine, and that thought is actually kind of comforting.

Leila

On February 17th, my friend Leila passed away, after a hard-fought battle with cancer. Despite the distance between us since we went through grade nine together, this has absolutely crushed me. So, I’m going to take a note out of Zoe‘s playbook, and tell you about her.

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“Just like the gypsy woman said!”

So that was 28. Tomorrow I’m 29. And I feel all of twelve. Maybe thirteen.

That’s probably why so many people have crises about their age: they never feel what they really are. I’ve managed to elude conventional adulthood for so long, and now I feel the time to girl-up and be a grown-up is upon me.

No wonder I need a medication adjustment  :lol:

So here’s to 29. May you bring good things.

Your authority isn’t recognized in Fort Kickass.

I have anxiety and depression; and when I have bad periods, time seems to disintegrate. :crazy: I can spend weeks doing little more than reading and basic functionally. The weird thing is that I don’t actually notice I’m doing it; it takes me weeks to realise it and everyone around me is ‘…duh.’ -_-

So, my uni break consisted of watching Archer (definitely been added to my favourites list), doing a little fic writing, and generally over-thinking my entire life. So, not exactly the relaxing break I was hoping for. Now I’m back at uni, and I’m trying to piece myself back into a functioning human being. I mean, I’ve started a sort-of bullet journal for my honours year at uni (let’s ignore the fact I graduate next year. It scares the living hell out of me), and I got a super cute haircut. No, seriously, I had my fringe cut and I was so worried, but I actually kind of love it. :love:

Now I am going to go crawl into my matress makers bed, which is currently obscured by a giant pile of clean washing, and sleep with the hope that when I wake up tomorrow it won’t be Monday and I won’t have a 10am lecture.

Dot Point Days

  • End of semester is here! Which means I am up to my elbows in half-finished projects. I have an essay, a presentation, a multimedia ebook, and a set of postcards that all have to be completed in the next fortnight. It’s a lot, but I’m crossing my fingers that I have everything under control. And, without blowing my own horn, the ebook is looking quite cool.  :cool:
  • I went to TeenCon: Cornucopia Sunday morning, as a part of the Sydney Writer’s Festival. I’ll do a whole post about it, but it was fun, and I’ll definitely be snagging tickets against next year.
  • Got a phone call yesterday, to hear that one of our cats – Bob – had been attacked by the cat that was hiding in our shed, and had his tongue lacerated :sob:. My mother and sister dropped him off at our vet this morning (they took him to see an emergency vet yesterday), and I’m just waiting to hear the vet’s verdict. Most likely? Surgery. Poor man-cat. He’s just trying to protect his kingdom.
  • Got a very polite but firm email requesting student presence in today’s lecture, and I like my lecturer, so I made plans to attend. And was promptly rewarded by the universe, as I won a book in a Facebook contest – one that was actually presented at TeenCon, which is very cool.  XD
  • My washing machine has gone kaput again. :pissed: This time? Tripping the power of my apartment. So, I have to make plans to get it repaired, and drag my laundry down to the laundromat. I’m frustrated – more money I have to scramble to find. And I freaking hate having to pay someone to do something I am perfectly capable of doing myself – like my laundry (my local laundromat is tiny and very busy – usually the only option is to drop my stuff off, and pick it up later.)
  • Right now, I am really looking forward to lunch.  :x

Halfway Gone

It’s Week 6 of Semester 1.

Which means I am technically halfway through my last undergrad semester. Trippy. Technically, I don’t graduate until mid-2017, thanks to a compulsory honours year (which I’m sort of looking forward to.) But this is it. Last semester of classes. I feel slightly woozy just thinking about it. Then I feel woozy thinking about how much work I have to get through before the end of the semester. :sob:

Exciting news, too, that I’ll talk about next Friday :cool: when it’s finalised.

“At The Risk Of Sounding Negative, No.”

I came home for a week for Easter, for what I thought would be a lovely time to regroup and collect myself. We planned to have Easter Lunch with my grandparents, and then a casual lunch of Italian Easter Sunday. Mum was going to whip up some gnocchi and veggie lasagna, I was going to whip up a knock-off Sake Miss Blossom cocktail, and I was going to puppy-eye my sister into making rocky road for dessert. Then, after Easter, I was planning on getting all my uni work up-to-date, a few personal projects that I’ve been busting to get started, and helping my Mum with a few at-home projects. :geek:

It did not go to plan. Easter Saturday? Well, it kind of helps when you tell the grandparents we are coming for Easter Saturday lunch (dumping the blame and shame on my father for that one. Another for his bag of sneaky tricks). Then, we were all kind of done on Sunday, so we ended up going out for a quick dinner. Then I’m pretty sure I slept from Monday to Wednesday. At least, I really didn’t do much. Sleep, snack, read, repeat. Maybe a little writing? I knew I was sleep deprived, but those days are kind of blurry. XD

Thursday through to tonight kind of vanished when I wasn’t looking in a series of necessary but boring tasks. :ohno: And I’m headed back to Sydney tomorrow afternoon, in time for my Wednesday morning class (and I got a spectacularly aggressive email from my lecturer today, telling us to attend our Wednesday night lecture. It’s super pathetic people aren’t attending, but we are adults And, frankly, the lectures are only relevant when the guest-lecturers are speaking about our specialisation. The last one before Easter was okay, but pointless for me since it didn’t focus on my major. And no one really wants to hang around til 5pm for an hour lecture. But I digress.)

So, next weekend, I get to catch up on the work I spaced on, and the new work that will be assigned. The only good side is that, since Easter was so early, I have another week off (well, no classes are held but it isn’t technically a week off) in three weeks, which is lovely. Thinking of petitioning the uni to make this schedule permanent because it is far less stressful than the normal semester structure.

For now, I am going to slump on the couch and watch bad reality TV until bedtime.

God, I love sleep. :happycry:

Viva La 2016

Here’s hoping that 2016 is better than 2015. And 2014.

It’s been a rough couple of years. And when I did feel like writing, it wasn’t blogging.

I’m starting my last semester of undergrad (well, I have an honours year after that, does that count?) and I miss this place. Something I do for no one else’s pleasure but my own.

And it was a NY’s resolution to finally open this site up again, and write at least twelve blogs this year. So, here’s the first of many, I hope.

Sleep: Farewell Old Friend

After one week of no classes, and one week holiday from university, I am just really damn tired. Plus I have two essays, a powerpoint presentation and two other assignments yet to be revealed due in three weeks. I’ve been doing school work during that entire time; god, I haven’t been on any of my favourite sites in almost a week. I’ve hit Tumblr a couple of times on my phone, but every time I sit at my desktop, I get to work. This is a fun free zone.

I’m so tired that I’m actually going to the trouble of typing this entry on my phone when my netbook is about a metre away, just so I don’t have to get up. Plus I get to test out the WordPress app on my phone. It’s pretty awesome actually. I can’t wait to get an iPad and install it.

I have, however, been Productive (yes, with a capital P) today. I went into the city and had my iPhone replaced (software issues), nabbed a more protective case and screen protector for it, went to the gym and grabbed some lunch. When I got home, I moved all my furniture to vacuum and mop my kitchen, lounge room and bathroom, plus did all my laundry and hand-washing as well as made dinner. Tomorrow, I need to clean out my kitchen drawers (I swear it made sense to keep pain killers, batteries and spare plastic bags in the cutlery drawers when I did), make some cupcakes, get a decent start on my essays as well as straighten up my bedroom.

Why the sudden cleaning frenzy? My mother and sister are coming up tomorrow night and this place is going to be super sparkly clean.

I had a job interview, a group interview, on Friday. I kind of babble when I get nervous, so I doubt I got it. I have another one in a couple of weeks, and another two resumes to drop off tomorrow. Hopefully someone will take a chance on me. It would be nice to work and save some cash over Christmas. Or, alternatively, blow it all on really nice stuff (I have my eye on the most amazing pair of Chanel sunglasses. Ooh, and there’s a lot of Kumacrafts necklaces left for me to acquire.)

… And unless I can pry myself off this couch, it’s going to be another super late night. Argh.

I’ve never heard of such a brutal and shocking injustice that I cared so little about.

I’d apologise for vanishing, but sometimes you just need to take a break from life.

But now that university starts again tomorrow, I guess I’ve returned to the land of the living. Or at least, the land of the active online. Hell, even on Tumblr, I rely completely on my queue for any kind of consistent posting.  :cool:

So, university. I had a morning class, and then an afternoon lecture that I’m not really looking forward to, based entirely on the fact that I have to go over to the main campus and somehow figure out how to find the lecture hall on a campus that is like a small city in itself. It also kind of blows that I’ve already taken this class before, at a different university, but they wouldn’t give me credit for it when I transferred. I mean, the last art history essay I wrote for my previous university was 3,000 words long. This class? I think 1,500 words will be the longest (based on what I heard from last semester’s class, which I didn’t have to take, thank god). The first class? A compulsory first-year class, not much to say. Last semester’s course resulted in a dodgy mark because I pretty much told my lecturer I didn’t think she understood the course outline since she did such a terrible job of explaining it.  -_-

I tried so hard to be organised today – my plan was to grab my groceries and drop into the Apple store to replace my dodgy keyboard before coming home and building my last two pieces of Ikea furniture. Grocery shopping turned into a big deal when I could find a food processor under one hundred dollars  :huh: across five stores. When I finally did get home, building my Ikea stuff tried to kill me, ugh. I really loathe Ikea.By the time I was done, I had to make dinner before realising that most of the ingredients for my pesto pasta were mouldy, absent or masquerading as other things, so I tried to make pancakes and scorched myself and the pancake so badly that I gave up and had toast, and am going to clean up the apartment and then make tea and go to bed with a book. I never claimed I was any sort of cook  -_-*

Tomorrow is going to be a long day. I’m kind of edgy about tomorrow – new semester with new class locations? Makes me anxious. But I plan to nab lunch and maybe some new books (I found a 20% off coupon for Kinokuniya when I was cleaning earlier! A bag of books shall ease my nerves and frustrations.)

I guess it is time I started cleaning up. My mother is coming down tomorrow – my grandmother has a hospital appointment on Thursday that my mother has to go to – and she will complain if my place isn’t tidy  -_-

Five for Friday

  • Semester 1 is officially over – all my assignments are submitted, and I don’t have any responsibilities until July 29th, when Semester 2 starts up.  XD
  • With Semester 1 done, I have a pile of books loaded on my mother’s iPad (ack, I thought I was totally sold on the iPad, but then I saw the Samsung Note, with the stylus and the drawing, and the possibility of watching DVDs and drawing simultaneously… :love:!) and plans to work on my digital drawing. If I can afford it, I might buy a sketch book just to work on practicing my anatomy drawing.
  • Supanova, the Australian Pop Culture convention, is in Sydney next weekend! My sister and I have tickets for both days, and I’ve saved up some money to pick out some nerd gear! :D Hoping for the Despicable Me 2 Agnes Pop Vinyl figure, some Nintendo 1-Up Mushroom socks… and a ton of Sailor Moon gear.  :marryme: Last year, I only bought a packet of playing cards and some stickers, so this year I think I might splurge a little.
  • My internet is ready to go… except my modem has arrived. Despite the phone monkey telling me that my modem was ordered and would be delivered, and we’d pay for it at the end of the month with the cost of my internet plan, it wasn’t. So, I wait – which was almost disastrous when I finishing off my assessment  :tantrum:
  • With my desk, chair and modem (on order :cranky:), the last things I need for my apartment are a proper fridge (I’m using my uncle’s bar fridge from the late 80s, early 90s… not exactly the most efficient piece of machinery), a nightstand, a microwave, an ottoman (the one I have my eyes on folds out into a single bed, which is perfect for when my mother or sister stay) and half a dozen lamps. My apartment is so terribly dark. I never noticed how expensive lamps were until I started shopping for some.

My Super-Villain Lair is Almost Complete

I have a desk!

And a desk chair!

Aren’t they beautiful? :love: I also scored a eight-dollar side table, and purchased this adorable pencil holder to celebrate the acquisition and assembly of my desk and chair (oh man, I started late one night and managed to put at least half of the desk together backwards or upside down – I thought my mother was going to beat me with one of the parts  :oops:.)

And some beautiful self-promotion – I started pinning everything I got for my apartment right here, if you’d like to see more of my budding interior decorating skills.

Now I just need to find some lamps that actually provide useful light, rather than just ambience or something else that I have to dust, that don’t cost more than my rent or are super ugly. There’s an entire world of shopping out there that I haven’t truly considered before, and it’s wonderful  :nyah:.

Five Things Friday

I fell in the street, skinned both my knees and upset my bad knee again. :( Ice packs, pain killers and bizarre stretches have become me. It’s very strange to fall asleep with an ice pack against your knee.

New phone <3 I finally replaced my beloved iPhone 4 with an iPhone 5. It’s shiny and new and with an utterly amazing camera (for an iPhone XD). Just getting all my apps on it is taking an age. I haven’t totally discarded my iPhone 4 – it’s just evolved into being my music-and-amusement gadget.

Iron Man 3 was amazing and incredible. We saw The Avengers on the big screen first (so, so much better on the big screen. The details I never noticed before were incredible) and then, at midnight, when into the Gold Class cinema (16 seats, all of them the most amazingly comfortable recliners) to see Iron Man 3. It was so much fun – I was so worried I’d fall asleep, being after midnight and have already sat through The Avengers, but I was transfixed the entire time. But now I totally have to see it again, so that I can write a ‘Avengers come to help Tony out because the shit that went down was way too major for them to simply not care’ fic.

University is okay. Finished Nightmare Group Assignment #1, onto Group Assignment #2, with a group that works way better together. On a not unrelated note, the next person who tells me they have a domain, when yes, they have a domain named but its re-routed to their tumblr page/blogspot/facebook, is getting punched in the face. It. Does. Not. Count. Seriously, before I finally mastered WordPress, I coded all my pages in HTML in Notepad; all of my blog posts were written in HTML by hand, and uploaded by WS_FTP; definitely a labour of love. :love:  I also ran 10+ fanlistings the same way. Dedication, thy name is Alexandra. I get so frustrated how easy it is for people to ‘have’ a website these days and yet have no idea how it works.  :cranky:

And on a totally unrelated note, I am actually totally prepared for Mother’s Day – I have three amazing presents, ready to be beautifully wrapped, and it’s going to be a weekend that my father is working away, so we get to have a nice, quiet all-about-Mum day. This has to be the first Mother’s Day in years that I’ve actually be organised, which is so both depressing and embarrassing. Living in Sydney has made gift shopping a lot easier.

And now I’m off to make tea and have a shower :love:

Five Things… From this Week

:: It’s been full-on drama at university. One teenage girl with control issues who borderline-bullied me (I know, I’m 25, I should have put her in her place. The anxiety prevents it). Thank god it is done and I can resume my peaceful existence in that class. There’s more to it, but I’ve already documented it twice on Tumblr, and cannot bring myself to type it all out again tonight.

:: Iron Man 3 tomorrow night! Well, technically, Wednesday morning. My sister and I have tickets to The Avengers at 9pm, and then Iron Man 3 at 12:05am Wednesday morning. The cinemas in Sydney are showing The Avengers first as a promotional thing, and I never got to see it in the theatre the first time around, so I jumped at the chance. Super excited! Especially since our Iron Man 3 tickets are Gold Class (like 16 seats in the entire cinema, and they are squishy, huge seats too. I’ve never been to Gold Class, so I’m doubly excited!)

:: My apartment is slowly coming along. The books are on the two shelves I have (long story) but I plan to replace the bookcases anyway. Hopefully getting my couch, my desk and chair, and maybe one bookcase next week. Crossing my fingers. I did order a crescent-moon bottle opener and hedgehog measuring cups from Anthropologie (the shipping to Australia is completely ridiculous, fyi) that I’ve been eyeing for months. Plus I got a fancy, brightly coloured bedspread. Nothing like frivolous items to make everything better! Next pay, hopefully a print or two for the walls.

:: More online shopping pursuits? Okay! XD I scored two Kumacrafts Sailor Moon necklaces – the Star Locket (omg, yes!) and the Season 1 locket (a girl posted a picture of herself on Tumblr wearing the two together and it looked awesome.) Next on the wishlist? Chibiusa’s Time Key and the S locket!

:: I have the week off from university, so unless something comes up, I plan to spend Wednesday night onwards at home with my mum, doing totally ridiculous things like playing the Sims and working on my novel on my desktop. My kingdom for a laptop, I swear to god. It’s so lovely to be home with my cats and my mum. And now, I am going to snuggle into my lovely bed and get some sleep – 8:15am train tomorrow :(

Home is Where… There Really Isn’t Much

My apartment is kind of awesome. I might complain about how dark it is, how there isn’t enough room to start some kind of art studio turned bat cave but it’s all kinds of awesome. A modern kitchen and bathroom, a crazy-awesome wardrobe and it’s so close to my university.

A dream first apartment, really. Except it’s kind of empty.

I mean, I have a bed, and bar stools for the bench, a killer TV… but no modem. Or couch. Or a laptop. But to get those things, I need a job. Plus I need to bring more of my stuff. My books, my drawing tablet, my shoes…

University is still disappointing. I want to learn how to draw and colour, and bring my characters to life. Instead, I’m forced to deal with unpleasant, snotty people younger than me with superiority complexes, and a total lack of sleep.

But next week, next week is my week off. Next week is half-way through semester; I’ve almost done it. Made it through the first semester, and that’s one thing that I’m clinging to.

Home Is Where My Stuff Is

So.

On Friday, I took some of my things down to my new apartment. And on Sunday, my parents took down some more.

I have a giant awesome television and a blu-ray player ready and waiting. I have a bed and a new mattress set up in the bedroom. I have a toaster, a kettle, a Sodastream (I’m pretty sure at this point, my veins are 65% bubbly water) and my most beloved, beat-up 90s era can opener.

I don’t have a couch yet; I have giant floor cushions as a stand in for now. I still need a few things. Well, a lot of things. The things I’m looking most forward to are my pink lounge (I know! Ikea make pink couches!), my desk and chair so that I can bring my desktop computer down (I have my father’s spare monitor waiting in my room) and a modem.

Until then, traveling home-home every weekend is necessary. Completely necessary. A proper fridge full of food, high-speed internet, furniture… ahh, it’s the completely ordinary things (like a chair!) that you take for granted. :D

A Little of This, A Little of That

Things are happening.

  • I’m bored silly in my classes, honestly. Being bored leaves me time to think. Thinking turns me into an anxious mess. I hope it gets better. I’ve already made the decision that if I’m still unhappy – this unhappy – in a year, I’ll transfer to a different school. I’ll need a year to really find my feet, I guess. It’s still horrifying dragging myself in every week, but I guess I’ll manage. I’ve never liked change.
  • I finally found an apartment, whee!

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I could sleep forever…

Wow.

So, I started university again. It was rather a shock.

First of all, in a city two hours away. And I haven’t been able to find an apartment yet. It’s kind of cut-throat in Sydney. So I’m still looking. I’m commuting and staying near by the university for three days each week. I’m so, so tired each week.

The last seven months has been really hard at home, and it all kind of hit me. I was a mess for the first week; ridiculously enough, when I mentioned how miserable I was, my doctor gave me Xanax. I took half a pill, and yuck. I will never understand how people get addicted to such a dreadful, dreadful medication. What a horrid feeling. I’m trying out herbal remedies for stress and anxiety now.

At this moment, i’m sitting in a room surrounded by things – my drawing tablet (after three-four years, I’ve finally started to master drawing on it; maybe I’ll post some of my efforts) is balanced on my desk, clothes piled in a suitcase (roughly triple what I actually need to pack for Sydney this week), books and bits piled on my bookcase, and a bit of everything piled on my desk.

Easter Holidays will be nice. I’m going to sleep and write and draw and maybe even clock in some time with my Sims.

I’m a simple girl at heart.

NaBloPoMo: Stand By for the Conniption

Oh dear god. What the freaking hell, November? As if you aren’t enough of an asshole, with NanoWrimo dominating, year after year. This November is ridiculous.

So, I have NanoWrimo to write, daily, especially since the gap between the word goal and my advance has closed over the weekend. I’m maybe 900 words ahead of the official goal. The I have my art school interview, so I have to print and mount my portfolio today and tomorrow. We leave for Sydney Thursday afternoon (which actually pissed me off; I was hoping to get up there early, but once again, everyone else takes priorities over me. Ugh), and return Friday sometime. Plus I am actively trying to get a Christmas job which, quite frankly, is going terribly.

Then combine that with my usual internet and person commitments (1.5 hours at the gym or training every single day, Neopets, Deviantart and my favourite trading card game just reopened online, and various writing commitments I’ve made) and the things on break (written-word.org, Livejournal, all my fan fiction, twitter) plus uni and general life stuff, I am just so… screwed. Seriously.

I absolutely know that next year, I’m going to have to prioritise everything, but I loathe to think what I’ll have to give up, since I really love doing everything on my list. It’s just… there are only so many hours in a day!

Anyway, before Thursday, I have to

– print and mount my work for my portfolio

– pack my suitcase

– hit 35.5k on NanoWrimo

– tidy up my room so it’s not a bomb site when I get home from Sydney

Seriously. I have no idea when I’m going to get everything done.

NaBloPoMo: Five Things

Five Things I Want to Buy When I Get a Job…

  • My beloved Mirror Mirror Wedges from Gorman. Seriously, those shoes are amazing-balls. I think I’ve finally begun hitting my stride as far as my sort of style goes, and these shoes are
  • New Momiji Dolls! They’re about to reopen distribution in Australia. It’s been almost a year, and I think there are half a dozen limited-edition dolls I have on hold, and then around half a dozen regular edition that I need to acquire.
  • An iPhone 5! I get my iPhone 4 on a plan, so it’s actually cheaper for me to switch phones when my contract expires. The only reason I’ve put it off is because of unemployment – I didn’t want to be committed to a contract at the moment. That, and Marc Jacobs hasn’t released any cute iPhone 5 cases yet XD
  • Books! I have e-book copies of Days of Blood and Starlight by Laini Taylor, and Cinder by Marissa Meyer, and I really, really want hard copies. Those are just two of the books I’m busting for. My fishpond wishlist is rather long, and Amazon Kindle charges double for Australian users. Australian ebook retailers can charge up to $30 for an ebook, which isn’t ever going to happen,
  • A Kate Spade bangle! Her idiom bangles are awesome-sauce, and I’ve been eyeing them off for ages. Her pink one disappeared for ages, but it has just come back in, and it must be mine. Maybe for Christmas?

This is what a trip to Sydney will do to you. Make you want a load of beautiful things, but you are so utterly broke, all you can do is gaze dreamily at online stores. (You can check out most of these items on my Pinterest, if you’re interested. I’m just dreaming my money away right now :nyah:)

NaBloPoMo: Take it from Me

Take it from me, dehydration is one of the most unpleasant things that you can ever suffer from.

It’s summer here, and I just haven’t been drinking enough – not water, not juice, just totally not drinking – and by last night, I was incredibly ill. I’m doing slightly better today, though I am still feeling pretty dreadful. Of course, I was lying awake with my water bottle at four this morning, watching old episodes of Two and a Half Men (yes, I actually thought the Charlie Sheen years were funny.)

I also had to skip my meds last night, because I was so sick, and twenty-four hours without my allergy medication has me miserable and feeling nothing but pity for my younger self, who spent every day of the year acting as if she had a chronic cold.

I’m hoping tomorrow I’ll be feeling better. I’ve got 4,000 words of Nano to write over the next two days, plus photographing and scanning different art works for this weekend.

Sleep is definitely becoming a necessity. Hopefully tomorrow, I’ll be feeling a bit better. Go and have a big glass of water XD

NaBloPoMo: Five Things

Five things …

  • Is overexposing photos currently trendy? All the photos that are appearing on blogs I follow and on Pinterest’s photography category are super washed out, and yet the photographers are told they are just amazing. I’m the most amateur of amateur photographers, and if I can tell something is overexposed… well, it might be time to take a good long look at your shots.
  • So many of the super popular blogs – the ones that earn enough for people to live on – have no content. Like, seriously. The entries are three lines ‘I saw a kid with a banana in the supermarket and remember how my sister and I used to play a game… what are your favourite banana recipes?’  Er, seriously, how do you earn money off this site, let alone enough to raise your family on? Seriously, please tell me because I am totally baffled.
  • I really need to replace my Starbucks tumbler. It was one of those plastic ones, and it happened to be BPA plastic, so I quit using it ages ago. And I miss drinking out of it. I don’t know if they’ve changed the type of plastic, but I’ll have to check out a Starbucks this weekend, in Sydney. I also must, must, must see the inside of Books Kinokuniya for my Sailor Moon and Avatar: the Last Airbender fix.
  • One of my favourite Sailor Moon artists, KumaCrafts, makes these amazing necklaces based on the brooches from the anime, and she’s restocking again before Christmas! I was crushed to miss out the time before last and just let it go in the hopes I’d get a job before the next restock went up, so I could pay for the two I’ve picked out myself. Nothing will make me happier than seeing two of those necklaces in my Christmas stocking!
  • Now that one of my beloved birthday presents – The Sims 3: Showtime – has installed, I’m off to mess with the new features for a little while and then take my sister’s puppy to the beach for awhile.

NaBloPoMo: The Day of Reckoning

I have this weird thing, where I have invisible barriers that keep me safe from things that are happening.

i know, it sounds crazy. But just listen. It’s like, my major barrier before Real Life kicks in (getting into Uni, moving to Sydney by myself et al) is Christmas. And Christmas is still effectively ages away, huffah! Plus, I have tons of little ones leading up to Christmas. So magically, by the time I’m faced with Real Life, I’ll be ready for it and everything will have fallen into place. I know that’s complete garbage, but it’s how I work.

My birthday was a barrier to my Day of Reckoning – my Interview and Portfolio Presentation at one of the universities I’ve applied at. Oh dear god, Yikes. i have to pick out ten pieces of my artwork and present them to a panel of lecturers – who will be MY lecturers if I get in next year – and convince them that I am someone they should let in.

My interview day is November 23. And all I can think is how much I have to do. I have buckets of art I need to go through and decide whether or not to include, I want to do some new stuff, I have to get my damn scanner working (HP Multifunctions suck, fyi. Brand new and the scanner refuses to connect to the computer), and I really want to get two copies professionally bound at the local print store. I also need to work out what I’m wearing, even though I think I have a pretty good idea (a skirt my mother made me with fabric from Liberty, a pink gap top, pink Bloch ballet flats and my newest bright pink handbag :love: I still need to work out what to do/wear with my hair and jewellery. My sister, who is about to graduate from this university, said that the panel are reasonably conservative, so I’m trying to look nice but memorable.)

Plus, there’s a Portfolio Preparation day on next Saturday that I am hoping to go up for, if I can come up with the money (train tickets, lunch et al), plus I have to work out how much stuff to lug up on the train. I’m seriously considering one display folder and my mother’s iPad with the rest, otherwise it will be too bulky and awkward to carry around all day.

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably seen a lot of my art pop up lately. I’ll start posting some here as well, just to motivate me. Plus, I have NanoWrimo to work on (500 more words until 20k, and then I can go and play my newest Sims expansion!), take photographs of our newest family member who is so gosh darn cute that it’s more of a chore not to take photos, keep training, keep blogging, keep cleaning and find a job… whilst trying so, so hard to get into University again.

Oh god, I am so screwed.

NaBloPoMo: Twenty-Five

It was my birthday today! I’m twenty five, as of seven forty-five tonight.

I had a very quiet but lovely day. My sister and mother went to so much trouble!

Definitely more tomorrow, but I’ll leave you with a photo, taken by my sister, of the amazing cat and bunny cupcakes they made me (chocolate cake with either raspberries or cherries in the middle. I ate, like, three! XD

(PS: To every American who voted for Barack Obama today, thank you. There were a few moments there, I thought maybe the Republicans had won; I really cannot get behind the principles and policies that they were touting, and am thrilled that President Obama  has an opportunity to actually enact his ideas and principles rather than just clean up the mess left behind by the previous administration.)

NaBloPoMo: Good Bye 24

Today was my last day as a twenty-four year old.

That is crazy. I feel exactly the same as I did at twenty-two. God, twenty-five. I feel old and like I’m running out of time but I’m only twenty-five. Is this how everyone feels? That they turn around one day and BAM, feel like time has just evaporated? That all those mundane things you do every single day add up to years and  years?

That’s about as philosophical as I get. Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between feelings and thoughts that are totally normal and feelings and thoughts that are because of my anxiety. Mostly it’s just plain noisy in my head.

I was actually very productive for my last day as twenty-four year old. Perhaps I’ve finally evolved to be fastidious and neat? A shame I still seem to be a complete paper hoarder. Seriously, I refuse to throw out even the tiniest or oldest drawing. But a massive spring clean was in order for the day – one enormous bag of garbage, and everything has been dusted, organised. It’s… actually kind of creepy.

I also got another 2,000 words of my Nanowrimo done. I’m hoping to get at least another 1,000 words done tonight. Other than that, I’ve got an episode of Criminal Minds and some art to upload to Deviantart. I’m hardcore, aren’t I?

I feel like I should write something deep, to remember twenty-four when I’m reading this blog in years to come. Twenty four: the year before you went to Sydney. After being sick for four months and two hospital visits, you’re okay with no real reason. Er, it might be because your father lived at home all year. Mia finished uni. You lost Dominic and Molly. Mia got Mabel. You love, love, loved The Legend of Korra. Your art sucked less this year than ever before. You started your giant directory of future book ideas. You read a lot of books – good ones, bad ones and offensive ones. You start cooking lessons. You loved Marissa Meyer’s Cinder, Kendare Blake’s Anna Dressed in Blood and Girl from Nightmares, Laini Taylor’s Daughter of Smoke and Bone, and you finally finished Lemony Snicket’s Series of Unfortunate Events.

 So long, twenty-four. I liked you okay and I’m sorry you have to go. You taught me stuff that’s useful but some things happened that… well, sucked. Put a good word in for me with twenty-five, okay?

NanoWrimo Word Count: 12,077/50,000

NaBloPoMo: Cleaning Lady

So, I turn twenty five on Wednesday – or as I prefer to think of it, the fourth anniversary of my twenty-first birthday :oops:. And I have this weird thing where, on my birthday, certain things have to be perfect. Like my personal grooming (aka, my eyebrows have been beautifully waxed and shaped), my outfit (being washed and pressed tomorrow) and my bedroom.

Oh god, my bedroom.  -_-*

It’s not that I’m a messy person, it’s that I have minimal storage. I was days away from putting my new wardrobe and chest of drawers on lay-buy when we hit a budget crisis, so nothing has really changed. My room is utter chaos – I write and I draw, so there is always paper everywhere, plus I have books everywhere and… well, all the debris of being a girl, a nerd, a student, a writer, a reader and an illustrator.

So, I moved my TV and printer to the chest next to my bed that I store my winter clothing in, and added an extra shelf to one of my bookcases. Two EXTRA shelves of storage! Two extra shelves to display my things! It’s just glorious :marryme: . Except, then I had to play bookcase Tetris. It’s a very delicate ecosystem of where everything fits. And other than a couple of relocations to the top of my bookcase (a binder that was too tall, a camera flash and a box of software), I got everything in! I’d love to find somewhere new to put my bright yellow leather compendium and my drawing tablet, but at least they are safe.

I’m exhausted, and I still have 1000+ words of NanoWrimo to write, and tomorrow I have to clean and reorganise my wardrobe and desk, and I really need to a few good hours to work on my Nano. AND I need a couple of days to work on some new things for my art school portfolio. Plus, I have the gym at 8am tomorrow morning, and I’ve got more job applications to fill out.

Why are my Novembers always so ridiculously … ridiculous?!  :dead:

NaBloPoMo: Weekending

My hair is so shiny!

Mum, Dad and I drove to Sydney yesterday, mostly for my hair appointment. Mum has a friend who owns the most amazing salon, so we drive up for haircuts. I only had two inches cut off, and I am wondering if I should have got another inch taken off. I’m super excited since, come November 30, I’m having my hair dip-dyed – in pink, of course!

Sydney was seriously cold for November. We had breakfast at this cafe called the Bunker and they had the most bizarre and yummy homemade crumpets with blueberries, rhubarb and golden syrup. It was seriously like the love-child of a pancake, a muffin and a sponge. Very strange, but very delicious.

The Christmas decorations are out with a vengence, as well. There are so many lovely ones – we’ve got a bunch on lay-buy for this Christmas, including an angel giraffe and cow, a minature carved Jim Shore angel and my sister picked out a little Beatles’ Yellow Submarine ornament XD

I also got to play with an iPad Mini! Apple was slammed, so I tried another electronics store, and the guy had a demo model he went out the back and set up for me. I was pretty dubious about a mini verson of the iPad, but it truly is awesome and a great size. I’ve wanted an ereader for ages – I’ve coopted my mother’s iPad for weeks now, which is driving her mad. I just don’t know if I want an iPad 3 or a mini now. It really depends if I plan to do a lot of drawing on my iPad. I’ll have to do some more research.

Today was spent just hanging out. I read a bizarre book, drew a little and just relaxed. Which is biting me on the butt right now – it’s after 10pm and I still have 2k of Nanowrimo to write!

I hope everyone had a good weekend :D

NaBloPoMo: Five Things that Need to Exist

  1. A Hilary Duff singing game for the Wii.
  2. A Sims 3 expansion pack focusing on medical things – broken limbs, accidents, illness.
  3. A second Professor Layton film
  4. A Dead or Alive movie sequel
  5. A cover for the swimming pool that you can skate on in the summer.
Nanowrimo isn’t going too badly – I’m a little bit ahead, but not as ahead as I would like to be. I have decided that 30 entires rambling about how my Nanowrimo project is going was liable to bore me, so I’ll be posting about every little, random thing just for fun XD

Tomorrow, my parents and I are headed to Sydney – I’m getting my hair cut, plus I am hoping to see the inside of Kinokuniya, and pick up my copies of the new Avatar: the Last Airbender comic book, and the last Sailor Moon manga issues.

Hope everyone is enjoying November!

Daily Word Count: 4,556/50,000

November is on the Horizon

I cannot frelling believe that it is already the end of October. How did that happen? I have three days until November. Three. Days.

For me, November is crazy.

  • It’s my birthday! On the 7th, I turn 25  :love:
  • I have an interview with one of the universities I applied to for next year on the 23rd, with my portfolio. I am totally and utterly terrified. Luckily, my mother is friends with an HSC art teacher who has very kindly agreed to give me some advice for my portfolio.
  • It’s NaBloWriMo! National Blog Writing Month – one entry every day. I missed the cut off last year, so I am going to give it a go this year, as a way to get into the blogging-often grove. i tend to let it slide when I’m overwhelmed.
  • And the reason I’ve been overwhelmed this month? NanoWrimo 2012! This is my eighth year of participation, but I haven’t been particularly successful in recent years. This year I am determined – I have my story halfway through outlining (I still have a chapter-breakdown and character-guides to write out!) I am so utterly determined to get a first-draft manuscript at the end of November, it’s filling my every thought.

And I still have to find some sort of job. I’m marching my resume into the local supermarket this week. I desperately need the money for Christmas and moving to the city for Uni next year – especially if I have such a hard time finding a job in the city.

So for the next three days, I have to move my television and install my super-brand-new digital box (I will have more than five channels, and it will be glorious!), finish off the NanoWrimo Binder of Doom (my personal guide to my novel), add another shelf to my bookcase, vacuum my bedroom, empty and wipe every single surface, drop my resume off,  work on my portfolio (it desperately needs updating!) and try to design two brand new website layouts – one for this site, and one for written-word.org, where I’d like to blog and keep notes about writing my novel. And I still really, really want to read just 19 more books (my goal for 2012 was to read 50 new books; 19 more will take me to 100 :geek: Ideally, 104, which would mean I was reading two books every week.)

Oh god, there’s definitely not a lot of time left. I have a distinctive feeling that some of these jobs are going to be half-assed.  -_-*

Never Quite Works Out…

… so, I didn’t get the job. Considering it was my first interview (a side-effect of working for your parents or freelance for my entire career history) and I was recovering from the flu, it wasn’t unexpected -_-* . I thought I did a good job though, so I was pretty disappointed when I found out. Actually, an awesome job. I was smiling the entire time, listening and participating. So, I’m disappointed and frustrated. It’s quite hard for me to put myself out there, so it was especially hard to find out that I didn’t make the cut. Plus, I now can’t get my new laptop or tablet for university, since I was relying on the employee discount. Argh!

But I have a few other applications out there, so surely one of those will turn up something and I can earn a little bit of extra money for moving next year. Assuming I get a place at Uni… but let’s not go there just yet. I need to be confident about something!  XD

Right now, I’m going to focus upon getting my portfolio ready, mess around with my camera, redesign both my websites and work on my novel (Nanowrimo is only two weeks away! :geek:)- maybe drum up some web design work in the meantime.

Meanwhile, we’ll be bringing Mabel home on Saturday the 27th of October (my sister is so psyched; Mabel’s wicker basket is full of all the fancy things my sister has bought that little puppy – I think the only thing we’re missing is some sort of cushion or pillow for the basket, which my sister is planning on sewing herself), and I turn 25 on November 7th. Quite frankly, age is just something other people measure things by – I’m just me, and some number isn’t going to stop me being me. Still, I kind of wish that number would stop going up  :nyah:

Seriously, where did the year go?!

Holy Responsibility, Batman

I have spent a delightful almost-week suffering from the flu. I will never complain about being sick in winter again, because having the flu in 29 degree heat is miserable.

I also reached two milestones – I applied to two universities for next year (COFA and SCA – Bachelor of Visual Arts) because despite having my self-esteem regarding my drawing systemically beaten out of me during my last three years of high school, I’m not a bad illustrator and with a bit of training, might be able to do something with it. (High school also tried to squash my belief in my writing abilities. However, years of fan fiction writing has resulted in my writing-ego being of titantium strength. I can write rings around anyone. I blame all the adults praising my Buffy-writing 11 year old self. I was a precocious little scamp.)

I applied for a retail job I never ever thought I’d get… and I got an interview. On one hand, yay, job! Money! Independence! On the other hand, I hate stupid people, and someone who treated me pretty badly in the past works there.

But when I remember that, I also remember I’m an ironclad bitch these days, in comparison to five years ago, so I’ll be fine. Somehow I evolved from sad-kitten-person to honeybadger.

I just wish I had enough money to buy myself some ironclad-bitch shoes to wear to the interview. It would make me feel better.

I think maybe the cold is restricting oxygen to my brain. Just FYI.

Sunny Days

I’ve been focusing on a lot of negative stuff this last week – more uni work, uni applications, family drama, job hunting (why do all the web design jobs dry up at this type of year?) and all that.

The good things are happening bit by bit – Mum and I are headed to Sydney on Thursday (she’s getting her hair cut, and I’m swapping my iPhone; during my last replacement, they gave me a 32GB instead of a 64GB. Very frustrating when you’re paying extra for the larger memory) and I’m hoping Sailor Moon #7 will be available at Kinokuniya. If not, I’m going to nab Book Two (and maybe Three) of Carole Wilkinson’s Dragonkeeper series. And I read Jay Kristoff’s Stormdancer yesterday (I am a ridiculously fast reader) . It’s really original and an awesome read – and I’m only one book away from my Goodreads Challenge  :D.

Plus, I’ve got big plans – I’m hoping to write a wallpaper app for iPhone and iPad, plus I got invited to join Yelp as an Elite member, and I have to get my portfolio for uni done this week. Plus I need to redo my livejournal layout and I have an enormous stack of art to scan in.

I spent yesterday sitting in the sun with my legs in the pool, drawing and listening to loud music. It was such a nice way to spend an afternoon.

I really love being busy.

A Day in Sydney

We – and by ‘we’, I mean my entire family – drove down to Sydney for the day yesterday. My sister was seeing Hanson in concert last night, and my mother was going with her. I went down for the day because I felt like it (well, originally, I thought I might have to get my Mac Mini repaired at the Genius Bar. But it seems to be running okay. I was wondering if I should have it looked over before my Apple Care expires but, huffah!, it apparently doesn’t expire until April 2014!) My father needed to go to Sunday Morning Hell, known to mere mortals as Ikea (I have several problems with Ikea, one being that Australians are usually charged twice as more for their ‘inexpensive’ furniture. I dislike having to pay $300 for a desk when the US pays $100. The dollar is pretty much equal, and Ikea has admitted that they only compete with ‘the local market’. Combine that with all the people who wander around Ikea for no reason, and it’s an experience that makes me want to smuggle alcohol in.)

 So, Mum and I got dropped off in the city (my sister opted to go with my father to Ikea to look at bookshelves) and we had a lovely time. I tried on a pair of summer sandals by Ted Baker (like things, but with a strap around the heel). They only had the black and white in stock, plus I’m thinking I’ll go up a size. And ordering them from the UK – with shipping – is still $15+ less than buying them in store. We went to Kinokuniya, and I nabbed Sailor Moon #6 (Chibiusa! Pink!) and Avatar the Last Airbender: The Promise #2! as well as A Brief History of Montmaray by Michelle Cooper, which looks interesting. There were tons of books I would have loved, but I am so, so broke (still job hunting) and I can’t afford $20-$30 for a book (especially when there’s a lovely Australian online bookstore which sells them for roughly half price. Paying retail gives me hives.)

After that, we went to a Sushi Train and shared two plates of salmon sashimi (it was like butter, oh my gosh, I could have had three plates of it by myself!), sushi rolls (made with avocado, sweet omelette and cucumber – normally I hate cucumber) and tempura prawns. It was so yummy – definitely going back next time we’re in Sydney; and going early – last time we went at 2:30pm, and they were no longer adding things to the train and the choices weren’t as delicious.

We made an attempt to go to the new La Duree store, but it was crazy – at least 100 people lined up and waiting. I would have loved, loved, loved some of their macaroons but we didn’t have time to wait. So we went to Bon Bons Chocolates instead, and Mum treated us both to a chocolate out of the glass case (hers had an amarina cherry in the middle, mine had almond and raspberry cream. It was mind blowing) and nabbed some cocoa-dried-cherries and mini-chocolate frogs.

We also picked up two small Christmas gifts – one for my sister, and a stocking-stuffer for me. We tried out some Bose headphones, and my mother was amazing (she’s been using the Apple earbuds. I’ve had a pair of Bose that I got on sale five years ago, that are pretty beat up. A new pair is on my birthday list! We peeked into Gorman in the Galleries Victoria and drooled over… well, everything. We walked passed the new Samsung store, and yes, it is terribly reminiscent of the Apple Store, and not in a good way. In a ‘nyah-nyah’ kind of way.

And on the way to the hotel my mother and sister were staying at, we had a peek in Tiffany and Co! I’ve put aside my birthday and Christmas money for several years, plus a gift card from my parents, to save up for a silver Tiffany Key necklace. They are just so beautiful. Next time Mum and I are in Sydney, I’m going to pick it out, I think. There were so many lovely things there.

Then we headed to the hotel, and had a cocktail each whilst we waited for my sister and father to appear. We watched the hotel set up some serious security (police sweeping the bathrooms with bomb and metal detectors! That rattled me quite a bit) along with an xray machine. It was crazy. Something big must have been happening in the ballroom.

After that, my father and I headed home to some Thai take away and Thor on DVD.

I love going to Sydney for the day. Just hope I have a little more spending money next time.

A Long Weekend

Wow. The weekend was kind of crazy.  -_-*

Thursday: Mum went up to the hospital for seven hours with severe dehydration. My sister went with her, and I stayed how to feed the pets and get some sleep, since we were meant to be going to Sydney early Friday morning (we didn’t know that Mum would be up there quite so long. She left just after 4pm, I expected her to be home by 9pm. She didn’t get home until 12am.) I ordered pizza for tea, and my dad yelled and bitched and complained because we had no white bread or potatoes for his dinner; he wanted meat and vegetables. Apparently potatoes are the only vegetable in the world. By 10pm, I was crying because he was so nasty :sob: . At 11pm, I fell down our concrete laundry stairs and cracked my bad knee (I’ve done something horrible to the muscles in my right thigh, so that all the tendons are getting trapped … or something. It’s super painful and feels like felt ripping every time I walk).

Friday & Saturday: My mother and sister undertake a massive, incredible, huge task of cleaning out our laundry and the kitchen. We had so much stuff we don’t use anymore. We have two giant bags of things to donate to the animal shelter (beds, coats, blankets, bowls and food) and two giant bags of food to give to one of my sister’s university friends. Plus five huge bags of things that couldn’t be donated, recycled or repaired. It’s crazy, we have so much space! I spent most of my Saturday cleaning out my tiny closet of a bedroom and studying.

Sunday: Oh man. Part of the ctazy-laundry-clean was because we were ‘interviewing’ a dog for a possible adoption. Meya is a 2 year old beagle that was being rehomed. Now, we originally had one sort of beagle – they had hunting instincts but were ultimately affectionate, friendly and obedient dogs. We got a pair of white rabbits, Blossom and Harriet, when Molly was roughly 10 years old and Bella was 8. Normally, beagles hunt rabbits. But we managed to introduce our rabbits to the beagles to the point where they liked them and considered them pack of the ‘pack’ (well, when they got out, Bella like to herd them, but she never hurt them. Molly was better, She’d get in their pen with them and just lie down with them.

Meya was taller than Molly and Bella were, and full of energy. We were leaning towards no in the first fifteen minutes, but it was when she made eye contact with Harriet that it was a firm and fast no. Then she worked out our neighbours had guinea pigs. She was determined to have two guinea pigs and a rabbit for lunch (and I learnt that the old gate between us and our neighbours’ property isn’t as strongly blocked off as I thought (next time we go to the hardware shop, we’ll have to get some kind of bolt or something). We quickly put Harriet back in her cage on the verandah and blocked off access to the verandah completely. We couldn’t keep her – we could never leave her alone with a rabbit on the property and the guinea pigs next door. It would end in tragedy. (It didn’t help that she was frightened of our cats and once she realised we had five of the scary, fluffy things, she waited at the gate for ‘Mum’ to return.  XD

Alls well that ends well, though: Mum learnt that we’re not ready for another dog and that she’d like a puppy she can train to suit herself, and Meya’s owner made the decision to keep her, since we couldn’t take her, and the first family she visited were… well, idiots (they had a toddler and another beagle in a townhouse with a courtyard. Beagles need land or roughly 10km of exercise a day. Anything else is cruel.)

The only vaguely amusing thing was that the owner brought her daughter and she went to City School. Mum mentioned that my sister went to Another City School and the daughter glared and sneered at my sister and I the entire time. God, we are ALL in our 20s. Who cares where we all went to school? Grow up, no one cares about high school rivalry anymore. :nyah:

And now, today? My knee is going again – I can feel the clicking, the next stage is the muscle ‘ripping’ sensation. My father is still an ass, my printer refuses to scan and the software updates are for a newer OS release than I have and I think the frelling optical drive in my Mac Mini has died on me.  :pissed: So I can’t even dig out the original printer CD and reinstall from that because the drive is probably dead OR install the software for my DSLR. (I wasn’t going to install it at all, then I figured I better since I know diddily squat about photography and DSLRs and cutting corners is always a bad idea.)

I don’t want to have to go to the local Apple Store. :tantrum: I know and dislike several of the Geniuses – wouldn’t trust them with a glass of water, let alone my computer. This blows. I’d say next week HAS to be better but at this week I will end up at the Apple Store and that will not improve my mood at all. Upside: at least I’ve got repairs covered. Nothing would tick me off more than having to have the same problem repaired twice in twelve months and have to pay for it (last time, the quote for repairs came to more than I paid for the actual computer and the monitor… and the keyboard and mouse. Luckily, it was within warranty.)

Long Days

Every year, I think to myself that life has to get better. That I can’t be more unhappy, that my home life can’t get more miserable, than it already is. And every single damn time, I am wrong. Things can get worse.

In August, we lost one of our rabbits, Domi, but also our 18 year old beagle, Molly. That was like a suckerpunch, honestly. I’ve lived more years with Molly than without her. She came to us this sad, neglected little two year old beagle who didn’t understand toys, bones or why there were three excited little girls crowding around her; she arrived the day after my 11th birthday, and one of my friends was staying over.

And she came with us, across two states and at least half a dozen moves, if not more. She was a beautiful, wonderful dog and she just… wore out in the end. She had various medical problems but in the end, she was just old.

Plus, my dad is living with us at the moment. He is really hard to live with. Like, he gets really angry and nasty when he can’t find specific things to eat. He doesn’t ask us to buy them or buy them himself, he just expects them to appear. It’s sure as hell not helping my depression. I’m getting worse again.

And my sister moved home from Sydney. Wow, that’s been a shock to the system. On one hand, we are really similar, which causes us to clash but also bond. So similar, I find myself saying things with a similar inflection to my sister and not realise it until I’ve said it. Or I’ll make a gesture that she makes.

On then other hand, we’re different. Very different. She’s lived away from home for five years – two years at boarding school, three years at university – by herself. We’ve both got different experienes, different ‘codes’ of behaviour, and I just feel very hunted and crowded with her home. `

So, yes, August has been hard. And my sister is home indefinitely, my father has no jobs coming up that will take him away from home, so I’m stuck in this horrid environment, making me sick and sadder.

On one hand, I’m so ready to live by myself, by my own rules and have a life after being stuck in an unhappy place for so long. On the other hand, I am so goddamned terrified. I like to plan and outline and prepare myself and every little detail. That’s way harder to do when it’s just me by myself.

And right now I’m tired, angry at my father (it has been a very long night) and waiting for my mother and sister to get home and waiting for my naughty, evil little cat to come home.

Tomorrow’s another day, I guess.

The Third Thing

It’s been a garbage few days, honestly. Domi died, and then I dropped my glasses case as I was getting into the car. They were still there when we got home, but Mum had driven over them as we left.

Thankfully, my Versace case took one for the team, and whilst it is crushed beyond repair, my glasses were only slightly bent. Your sacrifice was not in vain, Versace case! I haven’t been wearing my new glasses all the time at the moment, and at that moment I was SO glad, because if I had been, it would have been them in my case and they have bigger, plastic frames and definitely wouldn’t have survived. So, the glass is definitely half full.

Anyway, things happen in threes. So what was my third thing?

Read More

A No Good, Very Bad Day

Today was so very, very long. And short. And just awful and dreadful.

Mum went to check on our rabbits about 11am and found out that Dominic had passed away some time last night :sob: . Mum just reached in to pick him up and he was stiff. It took me ages to go out and even look at him, honestly.

We don’t know what caused him to pass away – he did have several health issues that, whilst we were managing them, were incurable. The medication that he was on was bad long-term, but apparently had no alternative. He was also almost seven years old. Some suggestions have been some kind of virus or infection, his health issues catching up with him… and most likely manifested in the form of a heart-attack.

Dominic was a Mother’s Day present to my Mum more than six years ago. I’m just heartbroken and feel like I’ve been suckerpunched. He’s been with us so long and was still so happy, even with his problems.

I don’t have a photograph on this computer, but I’ll get one tomorrow. Poor little man.

There was going to more, but I’ve made myself sad, so I’m going to take my wheat-bag-sheep and curl up in bed. Give all your pets a big cuddle for me. :ohdear:

Coda

 This is one of our cats – the eldest, Coda. She’s a funny, nervous cat that tends to scream when she wants attention and runs really low to the ground as if the KGB are after her.  :D

This is also the 2012 Winner of Stupidest Feline.

Why?

Well, our elderly beagle, Molly, has a small portion of food with a codeine tablet in it every morning. Coda always hangs around – she just loves food – and on Friday morning, she ate the dog’s codeine.

Codeine is toxic to cats.

So we raced down to our vet and – quite frankly, he was kind of an ass – luckily, she didn’t seem to have any negative side effects, due to the fact that she’s seriously overweight. 7kg (well, she’s lost more than a kg!) and is kind of pillow-esque but it saved her life. If she’d been smaller, she would have been in serious trouble.

She still had to spend the day at the vet, but she seems fine, thank god.

(And before anyone rants at me for her being overweight, she has a lot of nervous problems coupled with a neighbour insisting on feeding her despite us asking them not to. But the neighbour has gone and we’re working on it. I’m hoping to take her to Sydney next year, where she’ll be in a one-animal household, so I’m hoping she’ll lose even more weight. Not that I give a stuff what someone on the internet thinks about how I keep my pets :cool: .)

Chaos Theory

The last week has been completely ridiculous.

I missed my website’s tenth anniversary since my domain registrar botched my renewal last time (I paid for three years, they charged the credit card twice and then only charged me for two, apparently. They, of course, admitted no fault at all. Combine that with the fact that despite repeatedly changing my email in the management panel, they didn’t. So it was a panicked and frustrating two hours on Thursday night, trying to renew it and a long, long list of other fuck-ups and I can’t wait to transfer, honestly).

On Saturday, I went to the Sydney Manga and Anime Show (SMASH). It was awesome, and I got a ton of photos this time, mostly of the Cosplay Competition which was so much fun! I even bought a few things – including a black cat ear headband; I’ve wanted one of those for years XD

I have an essay due on Friday that I had to start tomorrow, so I’ll process and post my photos this weekend, along with the couple that I salvaged from Supanova in June.

I also have to go to Sydney on Wednesday for a haircut despite the uni work and the fact I am exhausted.

So exhausted that I’m headed to bed with a cup of a tea and a book any minute now :sleepy:

Bitch, bitch, bitch

Oh hai July. How’s it hanging?

It’s been a seriously exhausting few weeks. First, my lecturer at uni was replaced, along with the first assessment’s question, so I had to rewrite my 1500+ words and the new lecturer is super strict about… well, everything, Word count, font choice, formatting… ugh. And I totally blew the damn word count – with my bibliography, it was closer to 2k.  -_- As long as I pass, I’m happy. Thank god for an education system that is designed around the minimum possible requirements.

And it’s officially school holidays here. Which means instead of hearing the neighbours scream between the hours of 5am-9am and 3pm onwards, I get them twenty-four-seven. I know that kids make noise, and I can totally live with normal kid noise. But my neighbours have practically patented spoilt-brat screaming temper tantrums. The eldest and the mother. At all hours of the day and night.  :pissed: My kingdom for one full night of sleep where I’m not woken up by an enormous screaming match from next door.

My father and sister totally frelling screwed up a planned trip to Sydney, as well. Mum and I had a free night in the most amazing hotel, and I was going to get my hair done in time for SMASH 2012. My sister was meant to come home to look after my mother’s old dog, the cats and the rabbits, but despite knowing about our plans for weeks, proceeded to cry over an essay she hadn’t finished – which she’d also known about for weeks – and wanted to stay in Sydney. My father isn’t very patient with… well, anyone, so we couldn’t leave the dog at home with him, so we had to cancel. We lost the free night at the hotel, and I can’t get my hair done until after SMASH now, but at least my sister and father got what they wanted.

I’m still pretty ticked at my sister, honestly. I live in a constant state of being pissed off at my father, so nothing changed there. Things are pretty shitty, though, when you’re getting used to being disappointed by half your family.  :ohdear:

On a lighter note, I did take advantage of the EOFY sales. I finally got a new printer, since it was more expensive to get a new power cord than a whole new unit. It’s an HP multi-function, which is what my old one was. It has the coolest touch-screen control panel, it double-side prints without a separate attachments, and the ink cartridges are so skinny! I’m very easy to please XD I also finally own my own suitcase – a 65cm American Tourister Prismo in pink! I got it for half-price, which makes it even more awesome.

And… that’s what has happened in the last ten days. Mostly suck, but a little bit of win. So far, plans for July involve rewriting another essay, SMASH (the Sydney Anime and Manga Show) on Saturday the 14th, and back to Sydney on the 18th for my erstwhile haircut.

Something to look forward to; that’s always important.

Memetime!

Supanova was awesome :marryme:. Like, amazing and fun and silly and just plain incredible. I loved every moment of i! I’ll definitely be returning next year… and every year! In costume! (Even my sister is dressing up next year, which means it was pretty amazing.) I have photos that I’ll upload tomorrow with a proper post XD

So, here’s a meme from Amanda at MomBurntDinner.

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Supanova

So.

I’m going to Supanova Sydney tomorrow with my very patient sister for no other reason than I want to. It was kind of a spur of the moment ‘I want to have a life’ decision. Dad’s driving me to Sydney tomorrow morning, and I’m coming home on the train Sunday. Fun fun. Kind of nervous though – crowds do that to me. But I am hoping to come back with oodles of random fandom crap XD

So yes, my first con, whee!

Down for the Count

Well, needless to say, I was super duper sick. The bug bites on my legs, well, some of them had gone black with infection and I saw my doctor on Monday. Now I’m on extra strong antibiotics (that are making me feel terrible) and bandaging up my leg twice a day. I’m still quite ill, honestly, but my leg is so, so much better but recovery is slow, which sucks because I was hoping to go to Sydney to see Vivid this weekend, but it seems like I might have to have a quiet week at home.

I’ve also fallen behind in Nanowrimo, as well. Roughly 6,000 words, I think. I’ll have to get stuck into my Nano this weekend I catch up, plus get ahead since I have one university assessment due on the 20th, plus Mum and I are going to Sydney for one day around the 27th.

And that’s really it. Life is pretty dull when you’ve been as ill as I have been -_-

Camp Nanowrimo is Kicking My Butt

A flying entry today, because I am seirously sick and seriously tired. I got some bug bites on the back of one of my legs last week – I mean, it’s winter here, I didn’t think I had to worry about biting bugs in the cold. But they got me, and got me good. And unfortunately, they got seriously, seriously infected. The leprosy jokes were all fun and games -_- , as were the natural bite balms but they got worse and now I am seriously ill. Mum was even talking about going up to the hospital earlier, but I am positive I can hold out until tomorrow, when I can see my GP.

And I’ve been chipping away at my Nanowrimo work. I’m trying so hard to stay ahead, since I’m hoping to go to Sydney this Friday until Sunday, and I doubt I’ll get much writing done whilst I’m there, so I’m determined. I’m meeting my personal word count goals so far, but honestly, tonight it was like getting blood from a stone. I hope that’s not a sign that my plot is too thin, or that the rest of the month is going to be a struggle. And to think, I’m planning to do three rounds of Nanowrimo this year – June, August and November :dead:

To top everything off, it was my delightful, wonderful, funny mother’s birthday today and I was too sick to do anything! And her present hasn’t arrived! I did, however, manage to get the pizza guys to write ‘happy birthday’ on the box, and put a sparkler in our dessert tart, so maybe it wasn’t a total fail. And since Mum has a cold (what a birthday!), when we’re both better, we’re going out to lunch and I’ll shower Mum with all the love and gifts I had intended to give her today.

Now, my fingers are going kind of numb from all the typing I’ve done today, so I am off to load a book on the iPad and curl up in bed. Hope everyone is particularly snuggly in bed tonight :love:

There’s No Such Thing As Writer’s Block

The Camp Nanowrimo June 2012 Event started today, and I started my potential novel. Yikes. I completely forgot how hard 50, 000 words seems when you’ve just started. Right now I’m all, seriously? Seriously? But I am going to do this. I have to do this. Damnit, I’m going to write for the June event, for August event and for the official November event and I am going to finish.

I am going to be a published fiction writer, I swear to all that is holy. And this is the first step. To be a writer you have to have a manuscript. To have a manuscript, you have to have discipline and determination. I already have the latter, and Nanowrimo will help me develop the former.

But I am, honestly, already worried. I have an essay due for university on June 20th, plus I’m hoping to spend a few days in Sydney at my sister’s apartment to see Vivid, the light installation exhibit that the city runs every year, plus the usual ins and outs of every day life.

God damnit, I’m going to be positive. I can do this, I will do this and it will be amazing.

2,000 words down, just 48,000 to go. And it’s going to be awesome.

Bring It On, June!

I cannot believe that it’s June already. Or almost June, at least.

June is a lot of things. On Sunday, my mum’s birthday. Plus university has started up again, finally. And I’ve discovered Camp Nanowrimo is run in June and August, plus the main event in November, and I really, really want to participate in all three events, so I have at least one manuscript done and ready to prepare for sending out by this summer. I guess that means that blogging might be rather thin for June. I haven’t even written out my outline yet, argh. I have so many ideas that just don’t quite fit together. I need a mental hammer and chisel, honestly.

On the topic of getting things done, Mum and I went to pick me out a new mattress yesterday. I was hoping for an opportunity to bounce on something like the seven year old I really am, but the showroom less factory and more shop than I expected. And I was stunned – everyone raves about how awesome latex beds are, how comfy and long-lasting, plus hypo-allergenic. I thought they were super uncomfortable – like I was stuck in place and couldn’t more! I did find a super squishy spring-mattress that will be coming home when the pay-day gods and the bed frame suppliers’ timetables align. Tis very exciting  :oops: I can’t imagine what a double bed will feel like – I honestly never thought we’d be able to get one into this room! I expected a day-bed set up, especially since I’m headed to Sydney. Nope, an utterly beautiful double bed!

I really have to get my butt into gear tomorrow. My bedroom still looks like a war zone and there’s no way I can write or study with drawings, books, dvds and clothes stacked on every surface. Winter always makes me sluggish and slack.

And speaking of sluggish, I am off to tuck myself into bed with a book.  :good:

Liar, Liar

I’m not a confrontational person. I hate confrontation, loathe it entirely. I spent my entire childhood and most of my teenage years taking garbage from people when I should have spoken up for myself. But in the last few years, I’ve grown a bit of a spine. I still hate confrontations but I can stand up for myself.

At least, I thought I could.

This afternoon, Mum and I went to the supermarket. After we finished, I took the trolley back to the car to unload and Mum went upstairs to the bathroom. The car was parked down the street, with no one parked behind my mother’s car. I unpacked the trolley and then got into the passenger seat, and got my phone out and started to play with it.

And then the car was jolted.

It’s hard to say how quickly my mind went from, “what?!” to “OMFG, someone hit the car!” And I honestly can’t remember if I looked in the side mirror or turned around, but I saw the older lady pulling in behind us. I put down my phone and got out of the car, hoping to god that Mum was on her way back, and was about sixty metres away, and I waved her over, but the older lady – who will be known as the harpy – was trying to get away as fast as she could.

Mum had no idea what had happened, so I sucked up my courage and said, “Excuse me, did you just hit my mother’s car?” Only, it wasn’t really a question. I was shocked and feeling sick at the idea she’d damaged my mother’s car – we’re about to trade it in.

And she denied it! Not only did she deny it, she was very defensive and aggressive, so much so that it was obvious that she was lying. She was just so nasty and unpleasant. So as she walked away, I took a photo of her number plate, which brought her back. And she got stuck into me again, starting by telling me she didn’t like me taking photos of her car without her there but she couldn’t stop me (nope!) and kept insisting that she hadn’t hit  Mum’s car and that the chipped paint was clearly from, “lifting groceries out of the car”. Nope, that’s where your number plate hit my mother’s car, you old crank

The worst part is that she made me feel like the one in the wrong, and made me second guess myself afterward. .

The thing is, the damage is irritating but negligible. It was the nastiness and the lying that pissed me off and turned this into an incident. I mean, don’t deny what you did, lady. I saw you, I felt the car move and I know you thought that the car was empty, and that it was a nasty shock to find out there was a witness. But all you had to do was apologise. Honestly, a genuine apology would have been all we needed, because this sort of incident has happened to us before. And honestly? I think an insurance company would laugh themselves hoarse if we made a claim on the ‘damage’.

The thing is, this nastiness and aggression is just  typical of so many people in my town. Anything to get away with something. It makes me really angry, because if we’d bumped the Harpy’s car, you know she would have verbally abused and threatened us until she got bored. There’s no way she would have taken it as calmly as we did.

Argh, just thinking about it makes me angry again! At least I can say I actually called her on her actions and it went as well as confronting a cranky, snobby old harpy like her could go. And I’m a firm believer of karma; what goes around comes around.

The Ever Present To Do List

It’s been a long week. But aren’t they all?   -_-* And yet, not much seemed to happen.

I made the decision to excavate my bedroom before university starts on Monday, and it took a lot longer than I planned – it’s really more of Extreme Tetris, trying to fit way too much stuff into half the space. Hopefully this weekend, I’ll get a chance to measure for my new double bed, a wardrobe and chest of drawers. I hope I can make them all fit, because I really want a double bed, and I really need the storage of both a chest of drawers and a wardrobe.  :ohwell:

I finally ordered new sneakers for Mum and I! Well, actually the problem was that I had to wait for the online store to get the right sizes in the right models to come into stock. My mother’s pair are awesome, but I’m pretty thrilled with mine, too. They’re bright blue and yellow :marryme:. My current pair are pretty beat up.

And over Saturday and Sunday I still need to …

  • Add my twitter feed back
  • Add the Pinterest RSS plugin
  • Add an Instagram plugin and separate it from my Flickr
  • Scan in three or four pictures for my Deviantart account
  • Get my Camp Nanowrimo outlines ready to go for next week
  • Get a new power cord for my printer
  • Pull out my current wardrobe and scrub behind it

I also need to outline a new piece of art, but when I went to the local art shop, they wanted $7 for a fineliner. They’ve gone up two dollars in less than a year. SO not happening. I already have to pay a $25.00 mark-up on my drawing books :pissed:. Seriously, in the US they go for $8. I swear, I have to find someone who stocks them cheaper.

What ever happened to relaxing weekends? I think I might relax tonight by loading the Kindle app on my Mum’s iPad and reading until a ridiculous hour.  :sleepy:

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